Sometimes You Win and Sometimes You Win

August 15, 2009

Bronze woman avatarWaking up today from the most incredible nap, I heard a man on the television say, “My dad used to always tell me that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose”. I started pondering the idea of completely altering my thinking. I thought to myself, what if everything our loved ones told us doesn’t have to be our truth? After all, they are only saying it because they heard it over and over again and once you hear something over and over again, you begin to make it your truth. Once a thought becomes your truth, you cannot help but experience the evidence of it in your life.

So I played around with the saying, ”sometimes you win and sometimes you lose”. Is it possible that we are always winning, no matter what the circumstances around us appear to be, and is it possible that if we keep believing that we are winning, that those physical pieces of matter that we call our lives, will change as well?

Before anyone reading this post begins to think that I am too positive, that I have not experienced troubled times, or loss, let me tell you a little about my life. Most of my family is deceased. My parents are both gone, My mother and I were extremely close and her death was sudden. My grandparents are all gone as well. Most of my aunts and two uncles have long passed away, a few of my cousins have passed away in the last few years. In this physical lifetime, I have twice lost everything that I have had materially and started over. I am not sharing these stories to beat the drum of sorrow. I don’t have any sorrow. Are there people that I miss having in my life?, of course, but I am joyful and well. I have looked at events in my life as something to move me forward and as medicine for the healing of my spirit. I have never focused upon the loss, but instead felt so much gratitude for what I had already had the opportunity to experience with that human being.

My mother died quietly in her sleep on the night of her 59th birthday. That night we had the most fabulous time celebrating her 59th year. I took her to a beautiful tiny restaurant for the most amazing meal. We had the silkiest Pinot Noir wine that we had ever tasted. My mother and I had many great times together. We never shared an angry moment. So when my brother, crying on the phone, told me that she did not wake up, I went to his side and hers, and knelt down and thanked God that she had died the way that she lived, peacefully, joyfully and abundantly.

My mother’s sudden death, forced my brother to grow up and challenged me to begin to learn how to love myself the way that she loved me. I didn’t know how much she held me together and cheered me on until her physical presence was gone. It took me almost 3 years or more to become my own cheerleader. I learned to go within, where all power and unconditional love lives, and find it for myself. After my mother died, I realized how strong I actually was and I began to live my dreams fearlessly, because I knew that if I could live through the experience of her passing that I can live through anything and take the best from it.

So, you see, I am well-qualified to be a Pollyanna. I feel extremely fortunate to have the life I now live and I appreciate each moment of the past because it truly has brought me to this present. Nothing could have been left out. Everything is a piece of the puzzle that becomes us. So our perspective of our life events, means everything. Happiness and grief are both temporal. It is joy that is lasting and eternal.

I started thinking that if I choose to believe that I am always winning and if I believe it long enough, it will become my truth. So I choose my own saying today when I look at how all of the events of my life have brought me to this beautiful knowing and I say to myself, “Sometimes you win and sometimes you win”!

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5 Responses to “Sometimes You Win and Sometimes You Win”

  1. Olivia Says:

    It’s official: we are true kindred spirits. Beautiful writing, sentiments, feelings, and a beautiful soul on this earth I am proud to have met.

  2. Anita Says:

    Beautiful Post~! I can’t tell who the author is? Is it @OlviaWilder or @EarthFire? And I can’t help but marvel that even I am connected to this post. I lost my mother suddenly on my 30th birthday and it definitely forced me to grow up. Lovely take on it and thanks for letting us know it will be ok… x0x

  3. Sigridur Says:

    Really well written and beutyfull blog!

  4. Mo Says:

    Simply beautiful. All I can say is simply beautiful!

  5. Mary McManus Says:

    Well my dear – this is so beautiful and can I ever relate to your life experiences and how you have faced them with grace and dignity. It’s so funny how when you interviewed me you said that you hadn’t gone through anything like I did and there might not have been the physical challenge of polio but we share losing our families (both through death and the need to separate) and losing material things twice over (long story – no time not necessary to share here) but what’s important is how we rise from the ashes more glorious and brilliant than we could have ever imagined. I am so blessed to know you Kim. Long Live Polyanna!

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