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My best friend Mo encouraged me to write this post. We were talking last night and she heard the passion in my voice about this subject matter. But I’m really sharing this life experience because she told me that it was very enlightening for her and she appreciated my rawness and openness.

I got married at the of 37 and was married for four years. We had a beautiful small wedding that was loads of fun. As a matter of fact, one of my ex’s nephews said to us shortly after the wedding, “why don’t you guys get divorced, so you can have another party!”

Well, we did get divorced but neither of us is looking for that type of party again, at least not with each other. There is no bitterness or weirdness between us at all. My ex and I still have a lot in common and we can still enjoy parts of life together, but not marriage.

Another great friend of mine calls me a “free bird”. I always felt free, marriage was never a goal for me. I was not raised by a woman who considered marriage a “goal” for women. My mom got married, shortly after my birth. You see my father was a great football player and his family thought that my conception would ruin his career, so he and they, denied my existence for many years. My mother who was beautiful and a great spirit told me openly that she married my stepfather to give me the father she knew I wouldn’t have had. That never really happened.

It wasn’t a good marriage. And as for my new “father”, he did the best he could with what he had. It wasn’t enough. Too many years later they divorced and we lived happily ever after. My mother met a great man, they never married, shared beautiful moments together, no drama, no turmoil, just respect, admiration and love, in separate homes.

There is nothing wrong with the union of marriage, as long as you know what you will gain and what you will sacrifice. And I tried my best to share that with my single friends who have never been married, when I hear them turning marriage into a goal. If you are not a whole passionate loving free being for yourself, you will not survive marriage and if you are a whole passionate loving free being, you may also not survive marriage. Because for many women, we are the ones who take the backstage job while we encourage the man to live his dreams. And not everyone is cut out to do that. Men have a natural way of not losing themselves. We could learn a lot from them in that respect. Women, we are nurturers naturally and we want to see others happy, mistakenly forgetting our own happiness. Then we become resentful that we have let go of who we fully are to take on a “role”, and once we become resentful and too compromising, the man says,”I didn’t ask you to give up anything for me”. And usually that is the truth. We just did it anyway and now they no longer see the whole passionate loving free being they fell in love with.

I don’t have any answers on how to make a marriage work. What I do know is that as for me, I just want to love and receive love, give and be appreciated for the giving and I want to laugh, a lot, and enjoy my life and live my dreams and change my mind, seven times a day, if I want to. And all of that doesn’t marry too well with marriage.

And so like my mom, I am now living happily ever after and I wish the same for my ex and everyone. Because it feels so darn good! And who knows? I may change my mind and marry again. Well, I don’t think so. Maybe? Maybe not.

Rock Your Religion!

July 24, 2009

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Rock and religion have always been a pair. I was a teenager in the 80’s and yes I loved the Big Hair bands, Van Halen, Bon Jovi, Def Leppard and many of them often wore large jewelry and symbols as well. And then there were the sounds of the R & B crooners who didn’t just sing, but preached their lyrics like Baptist ministers. Crooners like Teddy Pendergrass and the Rev.Al Green who sang both gospel and ballads with a preacher’s conviction. And then my Prince came along and rocked the planet with his blatant sexuality and his love for all things spiritual; a screeching guitar on his shoulder and surrounded by religious symbols throughout his career and strung through his lyrics.

I say all that to say that I love rock, soul music, rhythm & blues and religion. Barbara and Maria Serbes must have known that there were kindred souls out here like me who would totally get what they were doing with their jewelry and accessories line beautifully named Rock Your Religion! RYR makes custom jewelry and accessories using “ancient religious symbols with a rock star infusion”. I love that slogan and Barbara didn’t mind telling me that she created it. She calls herself the slogan girl. But not only is it a cute slogan, it fits perfectly with the feel of the product line.

The signature pieces showcase a religious symbol called the Chi-Rho, which is considered to be a “modern good luck charm”. The Greek letters Chi (x) and Rho (p) are the first two letters of the Greek word for Christ. Apparently in 312AD, Emperor Constantine saw a vision of the Chi-Rho symbol in the sky along with the words “En Touto Nika” which translates to “In this sign, you will conquer”.

I actually wore the Chi-Rho the other day while preparing to go into word battle with my cell phone company.

But more importantly, not only the Chi-Rho, but all of the Rock Your Religion line has won over many courageous hearts, most famously the Backstreet Boys’ Howie D, who commissioned a piece as his own personal sale item for their last tour. Other famous people “get” the line. The word is out that Miley Cyrus, J-Lo and hubby Marc Anthony also took a liking to the brand!

I took a liking to the brand, which is why I am now selling the brand here in Philly, but don’t misunderstand, this blog post isn’t about me and what I do for Rock Your Religion, it’s about what they are doing for the world of accessories. They are bringing something fresh, edgy and spiritual into a world where people want more and more to wear things that have meaning. And if that isn’t enough to make you love them, a percentage of the sales goes to help conquer Lupus, which I recently found out is affecting someone in my family.

So visit the Rock Your Religion webpage, choose your own modern day good luck charm, help conquer Lupus, be fashionable and be apart of the solution, all at the same time.

Peace.

http://www.rockyourreligion.com
Follow RYR on Twitter at http://Twitter.com/RockReligion
Become a Fan on FaceBook – Rock Your Religion

alec wek avatar

Listen to my Talkshoe internet radio show! Conversations With Mo

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photo courtesy of Free Avatars at http://www.1avatars.com/icon-avatar

cocktail_drink_strawberry_241746_tnMy best friend tells me that I am super great at enjoying life while spending very little cash. And she’s right! It’s not because I am cheap or dislike spending money, it’s simply because it’s so much fun when you don’t have to.

So here are a few links and tricks to my posh living on a pauper’s budget. I hope you try some of them. Enjoy!

Visit http://dailycandy.com/deals for delicious deals around the globe on everything from summer clothing deals online to 30% off Mrs. Meyers environmentally safe cleaning products, which by the way, smell delicious!

When you sign up with Spirits companies like Patron, Johnny Walker, Guiness, and Captain Morgan, they notify you of complimentary tasting events in your area. It really works, I’ve been to many of them! My latest find is the Patron Social Club, which you can find at http://www.patronsocialclub.com

Do Google searches for your area by typing in “free events Philadelphia or San Francisco, or wherever” You will find all sorts of websites and blogs that will give you a listing of fun free things to do or at least economical!

So get creative with your life, search and enjoy!!

photo license courtesy of http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5/

Reality TV Therapy

July 10, 2009

Blue LipsThe new season of Big Brother started tonight and I boldly admit I watched it and even got a little excited about all the new rules and challenges. For those of you who have had better things to do for the last 10 years, Big Brother is about 12 strangers who live in a fake house together set-up outside of some CBS studio. And pretty typical things happen. Natural clicks form, like that dreaded time of our life we call highschool.

So why do I put myself through not only this reality show but many others I won’t dare to name? It’s all about sheer entertainment. Reality shows are a break from the depth of true reality. At least, thats why I watch. The mundane games they play, the kindergarten arguments and eventual lack of respect for each other that usually occurs, is worth it, just to become a couch potato for a brief time.

I spend a lot of my life in some pretty deep conversations. I coach people and help them find jobs and start new careers and in that process I find out more about their lives than I ever thought I would. I enjoy it, but sometimes it gets a bit heavy.

So I turn to the therapy of Big Brother and I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! Because I’m a deep spiritual being and sometimes I just want out! They say all psychiatrists have psychiatrists, I totally believe this is true. Well, I’m not a doctor but I do take on people’s life challenges and so I have my therapist, and so what if it’s HGTV’s Design Star. Who are you to judge?

Hey, that’s a great name for a reality show…hmmm. “Who Are You To Judge?” It could be some sort of contest between Judge Mathis, Judge Judy and the People’s Court. Maybe I should I pitch that one. Anyway, I make no more excuses, I’m a grown-up and I can watch whatever I want, even if it turns my brain into chicken fried rice.

photo courtesy of  Free Avatars at http://www.1avatars.com/icon-avatar

Being A Grown-Up

July 5, 2009

alec wek avatarWelcome to Breaking Dishes, a blog about gaining new understanding of what it means to be a grown-up. I like being a grown-up. I never really enjoyed childhood. I felt like I had done it too many times and I was tired. I just wanted to grow up. And most adults would say, “when you get grown, you’ll wish you were a kid again.” They were wrong. With each passing grown up day, I cherish my freedom more and more. I enjoy making my own money, creating my own debt, getting out of debt, falling in love with myself and out of love with others. I adore living in my own space and cleaning up my room simply because I have evolved to the place where clean is beautiful.

I like not having to answer the door or answer the phone if I don’t want to. No one can say, “get the door”, because no one can tell me what to do. I’m a grown-up. I can eat pancakes for dinner and double-dipped chocolate covered peanuts for breakfast. I can have Champagne on Wednesdays while reading the Baghavad Gita and the Bible at the same time.

No one can tell me what God is or what religion is good or bad. I can speak my peace and not be told to “keep quiet, this is an adult conversation.” I can start the conversation and carry the conversation and end the conversation when I don’t like what’s being said. And I can go to bed at 2am……………………………………………………and be tired in the morning, without hearing anyone say, “I told you so.”

Everything I do in my life is about freedom. I am constantly breaking new ground within myself and shattering old beliefs that were’nt my beliefs anyway. They were borrowed from my mom, and her mom and her mom and now, I am giving them all back.

So this blog may not be for you, if you’re still afraid to let the phone ring or eat corn on the cob for breakfast, but it is for you, if you value breaking out and breaking into yourself and of course, if you have the passion enough to break dishes!

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